undetermined time

Last days I've been painting a bit. I used to draw all the time when I was little, I loved it, you could even call it being obsessed with pencils. But since secondary school it seems like I've lost half my time and motivation. though I feel bored quit often. For a while I felt a bit down, I was constantly haunted by the idea I lost my creativity, I lost my way of thinking, I couldn't stand it. When you know me a little, you'd know I love to write stories or poetry, but even that seemed to be floating away slowly. I only wrote about the melancholic side of my nostalgia to the city, and to be honest, that only made me sadder than I was before. Fortunately I feel a lot more grateful for the little things lately. Anyway, the paintings may not seem really happy or whatever, though I am. Besides, I don't think you always have to wear a wide smile all the time when you're happy, it's a feeling, not a look.